Humbled

We had a very nice Christmas, and I've had so much fun seeing the start of all the Christmas photos on the blogs!  I'm so looking forward to seeing and hearing about everyone's Christmas.  I have SO many pictures, but they are going to have to wait.  We received a special surprise this Christmas and I am just so in Awe of God's love and the love pouring out of the amazing people in our lives.

I think like everyone, I have times where I feel sorry for myself, and times where I feel like the most blessed person on the Earth.  We have LOTS of "stuff" to deal with, and junk, and crap.  I think I'll just call it life.  But on the other hand, we have SO MUCH.  SO MUCH. SO MUCH more than we could ever deserve. I know I go back and forth, but I try to have a grateful heart and focus on the beautiful life we've been given.  Even if I get off course with that, God kicks me in the butt and reminds me.

Sometimes I wish we knew all of what is going on with Rich's health, and that things were easier.  So many people just feel great everyday and take that for granted.  But then again, so many people have lost their husbands, or are dealing with cancers and way more horrible things.  We are blessed.

Sometimes I wish I could stay home like other moms, have my life more together and time to be a better mom and wife.  But then again, I have a job when some people would give anything to have a job right now.  And it's a good job, with lots of time off with my girl.  I am blessed.

Sometimes I wish I had more money, especially right now when I'm suddenly growing a belly and need and entire new wardrobe, and need curtains for those back bedroom windows now that people have moved in behind us, and a crib and ALL that comes with getting ready for a new baby... and this Christmas when it would have been so nice to buy people gifts and be able to show them how much we love them.  We couldn't. But then again, we have the most BEAUTIFUL new home we couldn't have imagined having in our wildest dreams, on a stinkin cul de sac by a lake, our bills are paid every month (barely haha!), we have food on the table, and we gave Bailey a nice little Christmas.  She has clothes and everything she could ever want or need. We are blessed.

This Christmas we were VERY blessed.  We weren't expecting anything from anyone.  Times are tough right now and it's just not about that.  But we got a special surprise.  When we got to my parents they sat us down and and handed us an envelope with a whole lot of cash in it.  They said it wasn't from them, and that this person wanted to remain anonymous.  They just said they got a bonus on their check and it was very clear, God told them to give a certain amount to us.  WHAT??  Again, WHAT? Why us?  I was speechless, just tears.  Overwhelmed.  In shock.  Again, why us?   Oh yes we can use that money.  Oh yes there are things we need, but why us?  My parents don't keep secrets very well, and they told us who it was. I don't even have the words to say Thank you, just tears.  Wow, we are blessed.

I stayed home from church because I was up with a tummy ache all night on Christmas, and Rich came home and handed me a check from our church. Someone in our church wanted to bless us this Christmas and remain anonymous, when just a week before our pastor and his wife had given us a check that helped us out with some Christmas gifts.  I just looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "What's going on?" He just shook his head and said, "I don't know."

I don't know what to make of all this, but we are humbled and overwhelmed.  One thing I know is that God has placed some very amazing people in our lives who have reminded us how incredibly blessed we are, no matter what our stuff, or junk, or crap is.  I don't know how to say thank you.  I don't know how to say how I feel right now.  We are blessed, and loved, and grateful.  And we have a GREAT God who isn't limited to using our paychecks to meet our needs.  I don't get why we were so blessed this Christmas, there are so many out there with hurts and needs that far exceed ours.  I only hope that we can follow the example set before us and obey when God calls us to give, whatever that may mean.  Wow.