Stuff

I can't keep all my balls in the air.  I just can't.  Sometimes I try so hard, and I feel like I have it all together, but then I feel behind again.  I want to be a good mom, a good wife, a good teacher, a good friend, a good Christian, a good cook, a good housekeeper, and the list just goes on and on.  I don't mean to unload, just being honest.  It's so hard sometimes to be a working mom and everything else at the same time. I feel so behind right now, and then when I sit down and do something I enjoy (nonproductive), I feel so guilty, but then those are sometimes the things that keep me from being a stress case (so I do them instead of sleeping).  Life is so hard sometimes and no matter how hard I try I just CAN'T achieve that wonderful little word, BALANCE. When I'm about to lose it, God always steps in and reminds me how blessed I am.

Somewhere sometime I heard a story about how just when you need it, God sends you a bird.  You know that verse, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26  ?  Someone once said that whenever they are feeling worried about tomorrow, God sends them a bird- right in front of them, like a reminder that He holds tomorrow and He's in control.

I don't ever feel like I have it all together (and I think anyone that claims they do is a big fat liar BTW!), but there are those times when I start to feel really overwhelmed and sorry for myself, and then God sends me... not a bird, but a big kick in the butt!  The kind hurls you forward when life starts to pull you down. He reminds me how blessed I am and for the thousandth time I realize that things could always be worse, and hello? WHO CARES if there are dishes in the sink and clothes in the washer and toys on the floor and papers to grade and 18 unfinished scrapbook pages! Life goes on. I AM SO BLESSED and GOD IS GOOD.  Why the heck do I stress about little things? Well, I guess that comes back to wanting to be a good everything at once, then it comes back to priorities. Last night God sent me a kick in the butt....

It's been a little tough lately. Same old thing- pulled in every direction. Bailey is teething- yah, that always helps.  Anyway, she's so sweet when she goes to bed.  Now she says "Wuv- you" and sometimes "bye" as we tuck her in!  She went to sleep as usual, but later Penny (dog) went in her room- Thanks Penny.  When I had to open the door to let Penny out, Bai woke up- crying.  She didn't stop after a minute or two and I couldn't stand it.  I went in and she was standing there with soaking wet cheeks.  I picked her up and she was saying, "rock you?"  "rock you?"  meaning she wanted to be rocked.  We rocked and rocked and laying on my shoulder she said in the sweetest little voice, "Wuv-ee-you".  At that point, my world just came together, as I fell apart!  I started bawling like a baby because I realized once again how great I've got it.  I'm a mommy.  To an amazing sweet wonderful little angel.  I was so overwhelmed with love for her as I held her.  I never dreamed this kind of love even existed, and all I could do was cry.  Scrapbook pages? Laundry?  Yah, couldn't have been further from my mind.  I AM BLESSED!

That reminds me of another kick in the butt I got.  One Monday recently, I got to school and realized I had one black shoe and one brown shoe (I have the same kind in each color).  Nice.  It was a good laugh and not a big deal because I hang out with 7 year olds all day, but one thing...  Awards Ceremony (with my kids' parents) that afternoon. Of all days! I was going to try to make it home at lunch and probably be hungry and late getting back.  Then, Brett,Rich's brother, comes walking up with my matching shoe.  I had sent Rich a text earlier so he knew my predicament.  He had to work at 9am, so he arranged for and paid Brett to come to Carmax, get the apartment key, get my shoe out of the closet, and bring it to my classroom.  Really?  THIS is MY husband?  (and brother-in-law, thanks Brett!).  He always does that stuff.  Again, overwhelmed.  I AM BLESSED!

These are my priorities:

And is this not the cutest thing ever?

Birthday celebration #3, Last one, with Rich's family, courtesy of Blake the photographer. :)

To my family and friends, I can't tell you how many times so many of you have been my birds! :)

Dear Genn's Camera,
        Please come back to her soon. While you are away, memories are not being recorded and she misses your special outings.  You two clearly have such a bond and I feel her pain! Get lots of rest while you are away and return safely because I need to see her pictures and her cute girls.  Only you can bring that to me, so hurry home!
                                                       Sincerely, Jamie